So I watched last season of #AGT cause my wife watched it and she showed me Tapeface. There were some “talents” that I didn’t get.

Throwing knives at your wife’s head is NOT talent, it’s a felony!

Dudes throwing knives at chicks heads’ is NOT talent, it’s assault, battery, attempted murder and manslaughter. I have a BEAUTIFUL wife. I don’t shoot arrows at her of throw knives at her fucking head!

The Clairvoyants didn’t impress or entertain me at all. Honestly, they just annoyed me with their accents and their smugness. Do you expect me to believe that if you were clairvoyant you’d be competing on a show to win a gig in Vegas so you can predict people’s driver’s license #’s? Get off stage and predict some powerball #’s. Put that $$$ in some banks and bonds and in 10 years when you run out of $ because you dress in gold suits, win another powerball!

Little kid comedians?! All little kids are adorable, talented, entertaining and hysterically funny….TO THEIR PARENTS!!! Little kids don’t belong in Vegas or at the comedy club circuit telling coke stories or jokes about sexting their junk. They belong in school!

Here’s why I am NOT entertained by slight of hand magic. It’s NOT magic. It’s tricks. “How do they do that?” They are nerds who sit around for 12 hours a day practicing that shit. I DON’T practice magic at all and I can make something disappear in a jansport or a pants pocket and reappear in 20 minutes. I do it all the time.