Archive for December, 2016


Human resources has made grief counseling available at my job for coping with the Trump presidency. I’m a Kanye cabinet position away from taking them up on their offer.

Stand Up Nutley NJ 2016


Never Ending Story

Watched the 1984 version of ‘The Never Ending Story’ for the 1st time in decades.
So, is “The Nothing” a metaphor for television, video games, or the internet?
Maybe “The Nothing” is a metaphor for a Trump presidency.

Zero Vision

I keep seeing propaganda about pedestrians getting injured or killed by cars and the solution is ALWAYS for drivers to be safer or to drive slower and lower the speed limit, and be careful while making turns. That’s all fine but a little one sided, don’t you think? When I was a child I was told constantly to look both ways before I crossed the street. This doesn’t seem to apply to adults, children, any pedestrians or anyone on bikes these days. How are pedestrians not even 1% accountable for their own safety anymore? Just because you “have the right of way” pedestrian, does NOT mean you should cross the street ANYWHERE while looking down at your phone.

America’s Got Talent?

So I watched last season of #AGT cause my wife watched it and she showed me Tapeface. There were some “talents” that I didn’t get.

Throwing knives at your wife’s head is NOT talent, it’s a felony!

Dudes throwing knives at chicks heads’ is NOT talent, it’s assault, battery, attempted murder and manslaughter. I have a BEAUTIFUL wife. I don’t shoot arrows at her of throw knives at her fucking head!

The Clairvoyants didn’t impress or entertain me at all. Honestly, they just annoyed me with their accents and their smugness. Do you expect me to believe that if you were clairvoyant you’d be competing on a show to win a gig in Vegas so you can predict people’s driver’s license #’s? Get off stage and predict some powerball #’s. Put that $$$ in some banks and bonds and in 10 years when you run out of $ because you dress in gold suits, win another powerball!

Little kid comedians?! All little kids are adorable, talented, entertaining and hysterically funny….TO THEIR PARENTS!!! Little kids don’t belong in Vegas or at the comedy club circuit telling coke stories or jokes about sexting their junk. They belong in school!

Here’s why I am NOT entertained by slight of hand magic. It’s NOT magic. It’s tricks. “How do they do that?” They are nerds who sit around for 12 hours a day practicing that shit. I DON’T practice magic at all and I can make something disappear in a jansport or a pants pocket and reappear in 20 minutes. I do it all the time.